Dreams Of A Love Indestructible (Part Nineteen).

The day could not have been more lovely, nor could the venue. Melbourne's Fitzroy Gardens with it's wide, open spaces, perfectly manicured lawns and long, meandering avenues lined with majestic English Elms seemed the perfect place for the sounds of beautiful, classical music.

Andy felt surprisingly calm as he and the others made their way into the Gardens from where the taxi had dropped them off on Wellington Parade. It was a beautiful summer's day, not too warm, a light breeze kept the temperature even in the Gardens as it wafted through the trees, rustling the leaves. Andy was glad he had dressed appropriately - a linen shirt and pants and comfortable leather shoes which he had purchased in the City the previous day. He actually felt pleased with his appearance. He looked smart yet relaxed - a world away from the attire he would have once chosen to wear. As he walked across the manicured grounds Andt felt a strange sort of deja vu about this place, a sense of familiarity that had him smiling inwardly. The old maxim "in another life" came to mind. He had been to these gardens - he remembered them. Denny and Soneya spent many times here walking and talking, holding hands, laying on the grass in each others arms, kissing. This had been one of their places.

The group from the Consevatory had spent the weekend acquainting themselves with their new surroundings, after dealing with the inevitable jet lag from 15 hours in the air. They settled into their accomodation at the hotel that was not too far from the Gardens. They had explored the city, dined out in cosmopolitan eateries that Andy knew well - in that other life. They had gotten to know one another better - something that there had been barely enough time for since they'd left Chicago. Among them was the shy and painfully quiet Alistair Stephens who was a couple of years younger than Andy. Andy regarded him as technically suprerior to him as a guitarist. However Stephens had revealed during the trip that he was prone to bouts of stage fright so severe that they were nearly paralyzing. As such he had fairly low expectations for this competition. Annaliese Ingram was a tall red head with characteristically tight curls and a more easy going nature. Annaliese had attended competitions like this before and had won a number of prestigious awards both in Japan and in London. She had been among the top performers in Andy's class and one of the first selected for the Chicago delegation. Then there was Michyko. Both Andy and Michyko were the two first timers of the group. Michyko was a sweet girl, wide eyed and enthusiastic. She had become a sort of team motivator for them all. Whenever one of them was feeling apprhensive or anxious about their upcoming performance she was there offering encouragment and reassurance. Regardless of the outcome, they were here in this wonderful country, representing their school in an event that was truly prestigious. That alone was a significant achievement for all of them.

Today Andy alone would be performing in his heat and they had all come to cheer him on and provide moral support. Andy noted there was a steady build up of people coming into the Gardens to see today's performances. He noted large groups of friends and families who had set themselves up on the lawns of the gardens near to a historic spanish inspired conservatory that housed spectacular floral displays. People spread out on picnic blankets, served food from large wicker baskets filled with pre-prepared lunches, bottles of wine and champagne. Children ran bare foot on grass playing chasey, playing cricket or throwing a ball back and forth near to a natural amphitheater, where seating had been arranged for the Orchestra.

Andy was more than a little star struck that the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra had been seconded to provide the accompaniment for several of the performers throughout the week. The orchestra was regarded as one of the finest in the world and just the thought that he might play with such an esteemed group – if he was lucky enough to make it through to the semi final round – made him feel giddy. Not even Denny had known that experience.

In this place of beauty and serenity, so far away from everything Andy had ever known, any residual apprehension he might have harbored fell away. He smiled at the familiarity he felt with these gardens. He took in the surroundings, the people gathering – visitors, family, friends and performers who were milling about already, chatting happily amongst themselves, sipping champagne and laughing. Andy marveled at how relaxed they seemed.

Michyko tapped Andy gently on the arm as his attention meandered on the audience around him so much so that he had begun drifting away from the group a little.

Andy blushed as he realized where his inattention had lead him. Michyko smiled warmly.

"You seem a little dazzled by all this" she observed cheerily.

"Yeah...I guess I am," he replied languidly. "Have you ever been in a more beautiful place?"

Michyko scanned around her and nodded in agreement.

"It is very pretty here. We're so lucky - don't you think?"

Andy regarded earnestly and smiled.

"Indeed" he answered simply. “I feel very fortunate”

“Are you nervous?” Michyko questioned him gently.

Andy nodded.

“Yeah...but not so much now. I feel surprisingly calm actually. I guess I've spent a lot of time mentally preparing myself. International flights seem great for that”

Michyko laughed at his little joke as the group made their way across to the registration marquee where today's performers were required to sign in and receive their performance schedule. Their was also a place there for them to leave their instruments until it was their turn to perform.

Andy was suddenly a little hesitant to leave his guitar there even though the area was guarded and secure. He slung his guitar bag off his shoulder and held it close until an attendant came over.

"Good morning. Shall I take that for you?" she asked cheerily.

"Ahh..."

"It will be safe here. We have plenty of eyes. Nothing will happen to it, I can assure you"

Andy reluctantly handed it over and watched as she placed it on a rack at the back of the marquee then returned with a ticket.

"Here you are. Now all you need to do is present that when you are ready and we'll have your guitar waiting for you"

Andy nodded silently then made his way over to the line of tables where the registration officers were handling the performers. Andy had already completed his paper work and took it from his pocket and handed it to a kindly man, who checked it over and ran a biro down a list before him.

"Andrew DeVries," he confirmed. "Here you are. You'll be required for the first group after the luncheon interval at one o'clock."

The man handed Andy a lanyard with a photo card of himself attached to it as well as a glossy folfer containing a booklet of the week's program. Andy took a moment to check the information on his identification then he examined the booklet.

Suddenly his eyes went wide.

There on the page was a description telling him that the concert series had been renamed as a memorial trophy - the Dennis Banister Memorial Trophy. Andy quickly opened the program he had been given and flicked through a couple of pages until his eyes fell across a photograph of a young man.

It was as though he were looking in a mirror.

The description beside Denny's photo read;

'This years emerging talent concert series has been named the Dennis Banister Memorial Trophy by Festival Director Jochen Zinski in honor of virtuoso guitarist Dennis Banister who lost his battle with Hodgkin's Lymphoma early last year'.

Andy's heart thudded noisily in his head then and his palms became sweaty. The registration official looked up at Andy concerned seeing all of the color drain from Andy's face.

"Are you alright son? You look as though you've seen a ghost"

Andy shook his head and forced a smile. The irony wasn't lost on him.

"N...No, everything's fine" he answered, tripping over his words.

He continued to read the program as he stepped back from the registration table.

'In what is hoped will become a lasting tribute, the award will presented this year by Dennis' partner, Soneya Llewellyn'

Soneya!!

His mouth went dry, he felt light headed and suddenly Andy felt as though the world was spinning out of control.

'Soneya's here!?' his mind shouted, reverberating throughout his brain. Instantly he began looking around him, scanning the gardens and the crowd looking for her – but of course he couldn't see her.

Other contestants were completing their own registrations for their own performances. Andy stepped back from the tent. Michyko noticed Andy standing alone and went over to him. She noticed his shocked expression.

"Andy...are you okay?" she asked, feeling worried for him all of a sudden. "You look sick"

Andy quickly regained his composure, wiping beads of sweat from his brow with his shirt sleeve.

"I...I'm okay. I just thought I saw...someone I knew"

Andy checked his watch whilst still scanning the crowd, more discreetly this time. It was still only early so he had several hours to go before his own performance. They had the opportunity to mingle, watch the mornings concert heats or relax in the open air dining pavilion beyond the amphitheater where other entrants were relaxing. All the while his mind was asking 'Is she here, is she here?'

"You're not suddenly nervous again are you?" Michyko asked Andy as they headed across to the pavilion.

"A little I guess," he answered quietly, not quite truthfully. "I've chosen to go with an arrangement that isn't very well known so I hope I don't balls it up completely"

Michyko laughed sweetly.

"You love living on the edge aren't you" she remarked. "But I guess for someone of your talent, I guess that's where you flourish best huh?"

Andy regarded her with a lop sided smile, finally feeling himself beginning to relax.

"You seem to know me better than I do. What have you gone for?"

Michyko gulped a little and showed him a piece of sheet music she held.

"I've been practicing Paganini's Caprice in A Minor, the finale. It's been my obsession ever since I began playing the guitar. I've been practising it ever since I applied for the competition"

"That's a beautiful piece," Andy mused. "I'm sure you'll do well. You're bound to be better practiced than I am"

“Gosh I doubt that” Michyko laughed as they entered the Pavillion.

The Pavillion had been set up a little way beyond the conservatory in a fenced off area. There were tables and chairs, an open air bar and a dining area that provided catering to the performers, delegates and invited guests of the Festival. The group entered, ordered morning tea and seated themselves at a table. Andy regarded the program on the table, kept picking it up and studying it nervously. He kept looking around, searching their surroundings for her until their coffee's arrived. The others seemed to take it as a sign of his nervousness about performing rather than anything else and thankfully didn't question him about it. Finally the coffee's arrived and he finally diverted his attention away from the program and the group chatted for a while before the concert began. When the morning concert session began they wandered across to the lawns in front of the Conservatory to watch the performances. Right away, Andy knew the competition was going to be fierce.

Not far from the Pavillion another taxi pulled up against the curb. The doors opened and Soneya stepped out along with Denny's sister Joss. Soneya quickly paid the fare and the two women stepped forward surveying the Garden's and the growing crowds of people there.

Soneya put on a large sun hat and her sunglasses and looked over at Joss raising her eyebrow.

"You know, I haven't been among this many people in months," she commented.

Joss smiled breezily, brushed down her dress and took off her sandles as they crossed over the lawns towards the Festival's epicenter.

"Well today's the day that you're going to enjoy yourself - just for you. Okay?"

Joss took Soneya's hand and together they headed towards the stage area.


* * *

Andy collected his guitar from the tent and spent a little time adjusting the strings, tuning the guitar until he achieved what he felt was the best sound. He had done a good job in repair the guitar and despite the bullet hole it appeared almost brand new. Michyko kept him company as he walked across the lawn to just behind the stage area. He was glad for for her presence even though her enthusiasm was a little too much right now. He introduced himself to an official there who checked him off and wished him good luck. He felt the rush of adrenaline, his nerves sang like electric wires. This was it. All those long months of struggle, both with himself and with his gift had boiled down to this. He was never more focused as he was now.

Michyko squeezed his hand and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Good luck Andy” she said sincerely. “You'll be wonderful. You have come so far”

Andy smiled at Michyko and nodded, impressed by her observation.

“Thank you” he said quietly.

Stepping up onto the stage, Andy seated himself on the stool there and adjusted the microphone in front of him. He scanned the audience in front of who had turned their attention firmly to him waiting in anticipation - so different were they to the crowds that crammed into The Pub to hear him play. He looked for her in the crowd but could not see her.

Was she there?

He closed his eyes as he picked up the guitar hoping to feel her presence but he sensed nothing.

As birds chirped the tress and the breeze picked up ever do slightly, Andy began his preparatory breathing exercise waiting for the MC to finish his introduction of Andy to the audience. Andy's fingers hovered near the strings readying themselves to play, waiting for his cue.

The audience clapped politely – they sounded so distant in his ears. He began his piece "The Sounds Of Rain". Touching his fingers to the strings he sought that perfect first chord, found it efortlessly and launched himself - at first with a concentration so intense - for he was wary of faltering on the introductory refrain. Then he relaxed into it eliciting a sound from the weathered guitar that was all at once crisp and full and soulful, capturing vivid imagery of rainfall that rippled through the audience and caused them to sit up and take notice immediately. Before he was even fully into it, every head had turned towards him. Andy disappeared into the music moving with it, feeling completely in concert with Denny as the piece flowed from their collective memory and into his fingers translating it with effortless beauty and poise. Not once did he need to open his eyes - every sense was alive in lieu of his need to watch over his technique and his playing was flawless.

And in the audience, far from the stage, Soneya watched utterly hypnotized by the stranger who played before them. Her heart jumped as he began his performance. She knew the piece right away. It had been Denny's favorite - a piece which he'd told her was the first he'd ever learned when he had began playing the guitar as a boy. He had played it for her often, especially when they used to escape from the city to the beach house and spend long weekends there when it was raining - relaxing, holding one another, making love...

And everything about the stranger up on the stage now - from the way he held the guitar, the way he moved with the music to the exquisite sound he produced - touched off memories within her so intense that she was paralyzed before him. Their was something eerily familiar about his performance – something that she dared not allow herself to consider. Looking over at Soneya, Joss – who was as equally stunned - remained clear headed enough to notice than Soneya was utterly transfixed. Not even a gentle hand upon her shoulder could budge her attention from the performance.

As he progressed towards the final flourishes of flamenco Andy infused a gentle emotional intensity into his performance allowing it to lift both him and his audience towards the slowing conclusion of the piece where he trailed it softly away, his fingers softened their touch upon the strings until the music ended.

The audience was on their feet clapping and cheering and whistling enthusiastically as Andy relaxed back on his seat and opened his eyes lowering the guitar with a smile. A rush of endorphins surged through him and he knew he had achieved something very special. He nodded respectfully to the audience, kissed his guitar and threw a beaming glance down to Michyko, Annaliese and Alistair who clapped proudly. Then, finally he stood, bowed and stepped down onto the lawn where he was embraced by the others.

"Oh my god that was brilliant Andy!" Michyko squeaked as they moved away towards the tent where he had stored his guitar earlier.

"You definitely aced that," added Annaliese admiringly.

Andy breathed out through his cheeks and shivered.

"I think I need a beer" he said shakily.

* * *

The performers, delegates, officials and invited guests gathered in the pavillion at the end of the day to mingle, to dine and to enjoy a celebratory drink after what had been a hectic but successful day. In the warm and pleasant dusk of the Melbourne evening, where a beautiful sunset graced the city skyline Andy felt a little overwhelmed at the attention he was receiving. So many people had offered their congratulations on his performance and wished him well for the semi final. He had won convincingly – having been announced the second finalist for the day. He hadn't yet grasped the full realization that he was through. It was all too surreal. He had held a lovely, if a little surreal, conversation with Jochen Zinski who made a point of meeting both him and the other finalist from the day – a young french woman who had performed a interpretation of Handel's Harmonious Blacksmith by Mauro Giuliani. He'd felt that familiar twinge of deja vu in the presence of Denny's former mentor – amazed at how potent his memories were of his old life and friendship with the renowned artist. They talked easily and Zinski had been impressed by Andy's polite and gentle way.

Soneya and Joss were there too in another part of the pavillion mingling with some of Zinski's colleagues as they enjoyed horderves and champagne. Soneya was feeling considerably more relaxed now, possibly more as a result of the champagne than anything else but at least she felt as though she could enjoy herself. She discreetly scanned the crowd looking for the stranger who had made such an impression on everyone earlier in the afternoon. She had a name for him now – Andy DeVries – a Chicagoan apparently for whom this was his first appearance at any sort of festival of note. Though she hadn't sought him out overtly, so far this evening she hadn't seen him.

Her emotions were a mixture. She had been so moved by his performance – by everything about it and she was afraid to admit that she was intrigued by him. And with those feelings came potent pangs of guilt – a sense of betrayal to Denny. That she should even allow herself to be intrigued by any man so soon after...

...Soneya desperately tried to push those feelings deep down as she clutched her champagne flute tighter in her hand and smiled pleasantly at Zinski's secretary Grace whom had spear-headed the arrangements for Soneya to attend the Festival.

“Isn't this a lovely evening dear?” Grace commented in an awkward tone noticing that Soneya seemed a little uneasy. “Have you enjoyed the Festival so far?”

Soneya caught herself, flushed with embarrassment for having forgotten herself and smiled warmly at Grace.

“I have...very much, thank you” she replied. “ It's been a while since I've been amongst so many people in the one place”

Grace nodded touched her glass to Soneya's.

“I totally understand. I'm not given to large gatherings either, however Jochen insisted that the troops put in an appearance at least once or twice during the week to keep the sponsors happy”.

They shared a light laugh together and shared a surveying gaze across the open air pavillion.

“Jochen was so glad that you decided to come. Denny was a wonderful student”.

Soneya blinked at her. She nodded gracefully, looking down at the grass beneath her feet.

Grace offered a sad smile.

“I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to...”

“No, no – it's fine really” Soneya said reassuringly. “It's nice to hear so many wonderful comments about him. I'm really rather flattered by all the attention”.

However the conversation seemed to stall then and Grace excused herself which didn't escape the notice of Joss who sidled upto Soneya soon there after.

“Are you okay” she queried.

Soneya shook her head dismissing it out of hand.

“Yes. It's okay. It's funny how – even now people want to treat you with kid gloves. I don'y mind so much”.

“Do you want to get out of here? I don't think they'll notice if we slip away quietly”

Soneya considered her near empty champagne glass and quiclky polished off the remainder. She then cast her eyes around the pavillion as though she were searching...

“You're intrigued by him aren't you?” Joss smiled knowingly. Soneya flinched and glared at her realizing that Joss had been watching her.

“No. God no,” Soneya retorted a little weakily. Her eyes darted all around their environs, everywhere but at Joss.

“Soneya” Joss said almost chidingly, squeezing her hand gently. “It's alright you know...to...you know"

Soneya gasped softly and pulled her hand away, recoiling at Joss's apparent insight.

“No it's not Joss. Don't say that”

Joss gazed at Soneya with empathy and warmth.

“Soneya...You can't hide yourself away forever you know. Put yourself out there – I mean it. I'm Denny's sister and I am ordering you to at least – have a look!”

She put an arm around Soneya and squeezed her close.

“Besides – I thought he was kinda cute”

Soneya glared sarcastically at Joss then handed her glass over.

“Can you just get me another drink please?”

Joss laughed and sought out a nearby waiter and procured two glasses of champagne while Soneya surveyed the gathering in the pavillion. In the near distance her eyes fell across him – the stranger – standing with a group of performers chatting.

Andy looked sideways just as he lifted his beer to his lips and saw her there across the crowd standing alone. In that instant Andy's heart felt as though it had leapt into his throat before it settled back again and time seemed to slow to a crawl. He froze, holding the bottle , unable to move. The dormant emotions that, until now, he had only felt as echoes of Denny's became his own and as they rose to the surface Andy felt overwhelmed by them. He wanted to run to her, hold her in his arms. The length of time since he had been taken from her suddenly became very tangible – how long had it been? Only Andy's conscience held him back and prevented him from doing something rash. He then wanted to run, to hide, to look away but he couldn't. He was utterly transfixed.

But then Andy realized that she hadn't looked away either. Soneya was as equally frozen where she stood. In that moment there seemed to be a sense of recognition from her. Had she recognized him?

Did she know it was Denny?

As Joss handed Soneya a new glass of champagne and she took it, she tilted her head and smiled awkwardly. Soneya raised her glass slightly towards him and mouthed 'congratulations'.

Then she made her way through the crowd towards him.

Andy felt his mind swirl.

'She's coming'

Dreams Of A Love Indestructible (Part Eighteen).

It was somewhere close to 7:30pm as Lionel was closing up the shop for the day when he looked across the street at Soneya's cottage, noticing a light still on in the front window.

He knew instinctively that she must still be there.

“What is it dear?” Ruth inquired, noticing her husband as he lingered by the door.

“Oh...nothing,” Lionel replied sagely. “It looks as though Soneya is putting in another long day”

“That girl is working harder and harder Lionel,” Ruth remarked worriedly, shaking her head as she finished counting out the days take from the register. “It's not healthy for her”

“I know, I know," Lionel agreed wearily. She works much too hard. But it's not our place to tell her what she should and shouldn't be doing”

He rolled his eyes out of view of Ruth. They had had this discussion many times before.

Ruth checked the counter behind her. The two large black soup pots there were still switched on. She hadn't yet emptied them.

“Do you...think you should take a meal across to her Lionel? She would have skipped dinner again. It's not right for someone so busy as her”

Lionel baulked at her suggestion sensing where Ruth's mind was heading.

“Look, I don't think we should go meddling Ruth. She's a very private person – and independent. Soneya doesn't take kindly to any sort of interference”

Ruth had already fetched out a sealable container and was ladling piping hot pumpkin soup into it. She then took a herb bread roll from a nearby basket and warmed it slightly in the microwave.

“Ruth” Lionel intoned malevolently but she brushed him aside.

“Lionel, I'll not have that poor child wasting away in that office all alone at this time of night without at least something nutritious in her belly. She may not be our child but I consider her like our own. I feel an obligation to look out for her”

Ruth gathered up the items – the soup and bread, a coffee, some items of fruit – into a basket and came out from behind the counter.

“Take this over to her darling” she pleaded. “At least encourage her to have something”

Lionel frowned at his wife and shook his head. But he took the basket from her anyway and inspected it's contents.

“Well...I suppose it can't hurt to at least offer," he conceded before levelling his eyes at Ruth. "Just don't you watch me from the window. Soneya has got a sense like a blood hound for nosy neighbours”

Lionel turned on his heel and stepped out of the shop, walking the short distance down the street towards the practice.

Soneya was sitting at her desk before an open laptop – a mountain of paperwork, manilla folders and old invoice slips stacked messily on either side of the machine – when she heard a knock at the door.

“Hello?” Lionel called out.

Soneya smiled at the sound of the familiar voice and glanced up from her screen.

“In here Lionel”

Simon looked up from his basket momentarily then flopped back down, closing his eyes and growling pathetically in the pit of his throat.

Lionel appeared in the doorway holding the basket in both hands and Soneya tilted her head to one side.

“Awww...what have you done?”

Lionel blushed and smiled.

“We, ahh...saw a light on from the shop as we were closing up. Ruth thought you might like something to eat”

Soneya's eyes narrowed with a cheeky grin out of one side of her mouth.

“She knew didn't she – that I would have skipped dinner?”

Lionel nodded as he set the basket down on the chair and and began depositing the items from the basket onto the desk. The smell of the rich homemade soup hit Soneya's nostrils and instantly her stomach grumbled.

“Well...she must be pscyhic. I'm starving” Soneya remarked as she fished her purse out from her desk drawer and began to take some notes out for Lionel.

“Oh no,” Lionel said holding up his hand to stop her. “This one is on us. Consider it...our treat”

Soneya hesitated, eyeing him curiously before closing the purse again and setting it down.

“You didn't have to do this”

“I know” Lionel said. “That's why we did. We can't have you fading away on us. This town needs a lawyer too badly”

Lionel nodded at the chaos on her desk.

“That looks to be quite a...challenge?”

Soneya threw her hands up in mock exasperation then she made some room on the desk so that she could set her meal down.

“I'm trying to organize all of Harry's old clients who've indicated they wanted to come back to me. I want to stream line everything into an electronic system but I can only do it at night though - after hours”

“Have you thought about getting a secretary to help you with all of this? It seems an awful lot to try and negotiate on your own”

Soneya nodded through a mouthful of the soup.

“I wish I could Lionel but I don't have quite enough spare cash right now to afford a secretary. Most of the money went into getting this old building up to scratch again”

Lionel looked around at the work Soneya had done to renovate her grandfather's practice from a dilapidated old house that masqueraded as a legal practice into a smart and modern office. He nodded admiringly.

“Well...there are people around the town who would gladly help you. You only need ask”

“Oh I'm sure” Soneya agreed wryly. “But this is something I need to do on my own. Besides – there is enough fodder in this disaster zone here to keep the Stafford gossip mill running for the next two years”

Lionel chuckled as he made room for himself on the chair and sat down.

“I...met that fellow from Melbourne the other day,” he said, venturing a change in subject. “He seemed like a decent man”
Soneya nodded non-commitally.

“He was...”

"He mentioned he was the Director of that Festival” Lionel continued, feeling incredibly awkward.

“Mmm-hmm,” Soneya responded from behind the bowl of soup, eyeing him knowingly. She had already twigged as to where this was heading.

Lionel steepled his fingers together in his lap and looked down at them as an uneasy quiet settled between them.

"Did he...enjoy the Bistro?"

Soneya placed the soup bowl down on the desk with an expression of mock exasperation and smiled.

"You don't do prying very well Lionel"

His shoulders relaxed and he looked at her apologetically.

"Evidently not. I'm sorry"

"He came to ask me to present an award at the Festival...in memory of Denny...but I told him I couldn't go"

"Why ever not?" Lionel almost gasped.

Soneya hesitated, suddenly feeling as though she had to search for a reason.

"Because...I have too much to do here," her response came out much too harshly and she blinked and immediately felt ashamed. She continued more calmly. "I couldn't possibly leave the practice for a whole week when I've got this to contend with"

She gestured expressively at her desk for effect.

Lionel considered her occupational predicament and tilted one brow in acknowledgement.

"Well...I can appreciate the work you must have to do in order to make all of this...work. But Soneya...you haven't had any time off in over a year. Surely the practice could survive without you for a week".

Soneya shook her head and rubbed her brow.

"I just...can't Lionel. It's just too much"

Lionel wasn't at all convinced by Soneya's reasoning and though his conscience told that he should relent, something else overtook his rationality at that moment.

"What about Denny?" he ventured cautiously. "This seems like an wonderful opportunity...to do something...you know, special. To celebrate his life"

Soneya stiffened imperceptibly then. She lowered her head just slightly and her eyes narrowed.

"Lionel...you're going too far" she warned him. Even though she wasn't entirely serious, Soneya let her tone remain stony.

Lionel took the hint. He stood up awkwardly out of the chair and looked at Soneya sympathetically.

"You're right. It's none of my business at all. I'm...I'm sorry I even mentioned it"

Soneya remained seated and didn't say anything. Her eyes darted between him and the floor and though she held onto the soup bowl she'd stopped eating from it. She could feel herself shaking with the familiar sensation of desolate grief that she fought against so often.

Lionel stood there, his features etched with concern but his inner voice told him 'no more' and this time he listened.

"I shall...go. I'll see you in tomorrow...okay?"

Soneya nodded swiftly and closed her eyes.

Lionel quiety closed the front gate and glanced once more at the front window of the cottage. He felt awful for having been so interfering but also for having so clearly upset Soneya. Ruth was right - she was like a daughter to them both.

Lionel stepped off the curb and crossed the street towards the shop.

"Why does everybody think they have a right to interfere?"

Lionel spun around abruptly to find Soneya standing there outside the cottage gate. Her face seemed devoid of emotion and it chilled him.

"No one is trying to interfere Soneya," Lionel said evenly.

"Oh that's rubbish Lionel and you know it" Soneya shot back angrily, her voice shaking. "This entire bloody town wants to wrap me in cotton wool. They think I'm going to break apart"

Lionel shook his head sympathetically.

"That's simply not true," he said. "Everyone here just wants you to be happy Soneya. And...some of us who care about you very much can see that you're not"

Lionel stepped forward, his arms outstretched in exasperation. Soneya baulked, her cheeks flushed red with anger. She crossed her arms defiantly across her body to protect herself.

"What is that you're protecting yourself from Soneya? Why it is that you feel you need to cocoon yourself here - working 16 hour days, holing yourself up in that house, not mixing with anybody?"

"I don't have to justify myself to you!" Soneya spat viciously. "What I do here is my own business! I don't have to mix with anybody!"

"No...no you don't...," Lionel paused as he considered his words carefully. "...but if you keep limiting yourself from living in this world Soneya, you're going to miss out on the possibilities of experiencing it. Denny wouldn't have wanted that for you. You have your whole life still ahead of you. Why hold yourself back?"

"Bec...because I have responsibilities!," stammered. "My practice is too important to just step away from whenever I feel like it!"

"That's not it" Lionel challenged her, shaking his head slowly.

Soneya blinked at him incredulously, wiping furiously at her eyes.

"Because here is where I feel safe Lionel!" she shouted angrily. "Because...here I feel as though he never left - that he's still with me!!"

Her eyes glazed over then with tears that streamed freely down over her face. Suddenly her features contorted into a mask of raw anguish and she began rocking from side to side, gazing off into the distance.

"Why did he have to leave me Lionel!?" she cried. "Why!?"

Lionel immediately went to her and enveloped Soneya in his arms as she went completely to pieces. Burying her head into his chest she wailed, as all the pent up grief that she had held back for months and months finally collapsed forth like a tidal wave.

"Why!?"

Lionel closed his eyes and held her close to him, recognizing what was happening; his heart was breaking for her.

"He couldn't hold on any longer, dear child," he whispered into her hair. "You know that. It was his time. He knew that. Denny wouldn't want you to hide away forever"

Soneya sobbed and sobbed. So hard that she could no longer hold herself up but Lionel held her close, supporting her, allowing her to collapse, to let her emotions carry her. All those long months of holding herself together, of concentrating on all the things she had to do in her life just to keep going, of denying the grief that had been trapped deep down inside her for so long - all of it tumbled forth like a tidal wave and it overwhelmed her. The 'wall' had finally collapsed and she was exposed by her emotions.

"I don't want to go on without him Lionel! He was my best friend, my...best friend. I loved him so much"

Ruth appeared in the doorway then, her own features were swollen with emotion and she was struggling to conceal her own sobs. Evidently she had overheard the exchange from inside the store.

Lionel looked over at her and nodded, mouthing 'It's alright'.

Ruth stepped down onto the street and came over, gingerly putting a hand upon Soneya's shoulder. She dropped down onto her haunches and surrounded Soneya's small frame with her arms and held her.

"I'm going to make up the spare bed" Ruth decided then and there. "Soneya - you can stay with us tonight my dear. I'll not let you go home to that empty house like this"

Soneya was too numb to protest. Lionel gathered her up in his arms and carried her into the shop and through into their house where he gently deposited her onto the sofa in their sitting room. Ruth followed behind him, having retrieved Simon from the practice and his blanket from the basket. She folded it into a mat of sorts and set it down at the foot of the sofa where upon Simon sat down and looked up at Soneya worriedly, whimpering softly.

Ruth then brought a quilt in from their room and lay it over Soneya as Lionel sat there on the sofa cradling her.

"Here will be good enough" he whispered to Ruth as she pulled up a chair and sat down beside her husband. She nodded in understanding. Together they remained there with Soneya until she cried herself to sleep.

* * *

By the time the international leg of his journey was underway and the flight was far above the Pacific Ocean, Andy had settled in to the rhythm of the aircraft. Though they had been delayed for an extra hour in Los Angeles it hadn't seemed very long at all and time had passed by quickly. It was now mid afternoon and the passengers were beginning to settle in for the roughly 16 hour journey to Melbourne. Some were watching in flight entertainment, many were napping. Andy had taken out the literature for the Festival from his shoulder bag and sat back quietly reviewing it.

The program for the concert series was to be laid out over a week of competition. Over the first five days the one hundred delegates that had been selected from conservatoriums all across the world would compete in a series of heats where two delegates would be selected from a field of twenty each day. They would progress to a semi final round on the Saturday where ten delegates would compete for five positions in the final on Sunday. The prize was considerable - a ten thousand dollar cheque and an invitation to record on a prestigious classical label in Australia for a release that would be distributed world wide.

Andy's heat had been set down for the Tuesday afternoon just after lunch. It was as good a position as any he reasoned. He wouldn't have to wait too long to perform and he would be relatively fresh. It was give him an opportunity to view the mornings contestants and get a feel for how good the competition field would be. He had two pieces in mind for his performance - the second movement of a famed sonata "Grand Solo Op. 14" by Fernando Sor and the piece Andy had performed that very first time in the Pub a mere few months ago - “The Sounds of Rain (Part 3)" by contemporary English composer William Lovelady. It was a more obscure but no less enchanting piece.

Sor's second movement had an orchestral flare that lent itself well to a concert performance and it required considerable attention to technique in order for it to be carried convincingly. Of all the great guitar composers, Andy felt a particular affinity with Fernando Sor because his works suited the solo style well - which Andy felt most at home with.

Andy was, however, leaning towards the Lovelady piece which wasn't as long but it was a complex arrangement with rich atmospherics and a unique visual soul. And it was one of those pieces in which the title really did say it all - it's description evoked vivid scenes of the rain. Andy remembered when he had played "The Sounds of Rain" as a child – the first piece that he had mastered with the guitar. In fact he wasn't sure now if it was himself or Denny who had happened upon it. But his knowledge of the piece was intimate. Though he knew he was taking a risk bringing a less well known piece with him into the competition Andy believed firmly that "Sounds of Rain" would best showcase his own skill and technique and challenge him. For it was when Andy was challenged that he tended to produce his best playing.

He did not want to think too much about the final - he felt if he did he would jinx himself. However he had a piece in mind for the final round - a concerto that would require an orchestral accompaniment. It was the second movment in the famed Concierto de Aranjuez by Joaquin Rodrigo – an incredibly tender and emotive piece that had taken on a life of it's own in popular culture. Though Andy was wary of just how prominent the “Adagio” was he felt that he had what it took to make the piece his own for this particular gathering.

He had recordings of all pieces on his iPhone and he listened to them over and over again noting the unique form and texture of the pieces, their tones and harmonies. He mentally practiced the fingerings making mental notes of where he would need to apply his most intense concentration. He emptied his mind of almost everything else.

Almost everything...

Soneya was never far from his vision and it took very little for her face to center itself in his mind's eye. Once the Festival was finished he would find his way north to Stafford to her. He would explain himself to her somehow – convince her of the truth of who he was. How he was going to do that he had no idea but somehow he knew a way would present itself.

Andy closed his eyes and drifted in his mind from his environment; from the quiet cabin of the jet. And in that moment he was suddenly overwhelmed by a intense feeling of sadness, of loss. It was as though he could feel the distress of another somewhere close by who was grieving. And when he closed his eyes again he could see her in his mind...he could see her tears and her pain and it took his breath away. The intensity of the feeling caused his eyes to snap open and he was back inside the cabin. He sat there stunned and sweating, unsure of what had just happened. Taking a napkin from the seat pocket in front of him Andy wiped the sweat from his brow and blinked away the lingering tendrils of grief.

It was her...He had felt her.

* * *

In the dead of night, Soneya awoke with a start as a similar sensation passed through her - the sensation of a presence somewhere close by; a familiar presence that touched her and felt her grief. She blinked in the darkness, looking around her and seeing only Simon lying curled up at her feet on the end of the sofa. Her heart thumped and she lay back staring up at the ceiling.

She had felt someone...she had felt him...

Copyright © 2009, Dean Mayes.

Walking With A "Dream"

I thought I would take time out and interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to update you all on the progress of my novella...well it's actually - officially - a novel now because, having read a few books on creative writing recently, I now have a manuscript whose word length (+40,000) now qualifies as a fully blown novel.

I know that the frequency of posts has slowed up considerably of late but - as I work towards the finale - I am finding it more and more difficult to write. Which is not to say that I am giving up - rather - it just means that I'm needing more time to put together the chapters. I have been suffering from awful writers block too which has been incredibly frustrating - especially when I have the basic structure in hand to complete the novel. It's just that putting the scenes together and trying to make them sound convincing has been a supreme head f***!

In order to keep the momentum up, I have gone back in the story and add a few scenes here and there based upon some brainstorming sessions I have done in order to circumvent the writer's block and for the most part that has worked well. The novel has developed quite differently from what you have been reading here - some characterizations have changed and I've enhanced some plot threads in order to give them more weight...I hope...

I guess what I will do in the coming weeks is keep you updated with my progress rather than have you show up to my blog in the hope of getting something new and instead seeing something...not...new (??).

I value your opinions on the work you have seen here and I actively encourage them. I want to be able to bring to you a final product that is as good as it can possibly be.

Thanks for following "Dreams Of A Love Indestructible" so far and rest assured that the "Dream" is nearly there...

DFA.