Dangerous Ideas - A Conversation between Dean Mayes & Alice Fraser

I had the opportunity to catch up with one of my favorite people recently. Alice Fraser is a comedian, writer, podcaster and fascinating interlocutor. Alice is performing her new comedy show "Ethos" across Australia and during her run in Adelaide, we sat down in a little teahouse in the back streets of Adelaide's CBD and recorded an hour of really valuable conversation for her podcast "Tea With Alice".

 

We wrestled with some dangerous ideas that were a little hard to coax from me initially but eventually we got into a flow where I was able to articulate some thoughts I had about the #MeToo movement - my perceived exclusivity of the movement and how, as a male who has experienced sexual violence from a female perpetrator, the movement seems unable to handle the lived experience of those who don't fit an accepted narrative.

From there, we ventured into more philosophical territory, exploring how the modern discourse can be overwhelming to someone who is trying to understand and extend their understanding of the world beyond their simple origins. think I made the point at one stage that, as I get older, the less I feel I understand of the world and how to navigate my way through it.

We also talked about my adventures with botox and how it is keeping my throat from killing me. Oh - and my adventures in writing romance...as a man. 

 

Alice Fraser is a rare individual with a lightning intellect, a worldly outlook and a huge heart and I always treasure our catch ups. As I said, she is touring her show throughout 2018 here in Australia and the UK so if you're a fan of thought provoking comedy, I highly recommend you catch her show. 

Download & Listen to our conversation here. 

Visit Alice Fraser here. 

Tweet with Alice here. 

DFA.

Social Media Outing - The Weinstein Factor & The Risk Of Getting It Wrong.

I've been wrestling with something recently that has seen me run afoul of a few people. 

It has to do with the issue of publicly outing individuals - via social media - who have (allegedly) sexually harrassed or committed acts of sexual violence. 

I initially opened with an abrupt tweet, in which I made an observation the comparison between being made to feel uncomfortable and the ongoing practice of female genital mutilation in some parts of the world - particularly parts of the world where women have no access to social media and no access to justice.

This was inconsiderate and rude on my part.

With the now proven allegations of multiple instances of sexual violence committed by Harvey Weinstein and others, there has been a daily procession of men being outed via social media for their behaviour. In some cases multiple women have publicly accused the same individual of sexual harrassment/violence. Such instances are undoubtedly worthy of investigation and I believe that law enforcement agencies should be rallied to investigate those instances to the fullest extent. 

But here's the thing. 

With the daily procession of new accusations appearing on social media, particularly Twitter and Facebook - some quite serious accusations - I am growing increasingly concerned and I question the wisdom of using such platforms to "out" perpertators of sexual harrasment/violence.

Publicly accusing individuals of sexual harrasment/violence removes the long held legal maxim of innocent until proven guilty. If so many of these instances are being publicly declared, it creates a web of enquiry any investigative process couldn't possibly hope to explore and prove.

A common argument I've seen made is that law enforcement agencies and legal institutions repeatedly fail to act in investigating cases of sexual harrasment/violence. But how can they hope to act when allegations are publicly expressed and commented on, on social media jeopardizing any chance of an effective investigation? 

Another argument I've seen is that reporting services and support for victims are inadequate or non existent. 

This is simply not true. 

A search for reporting and counselling services across major cities world wide throws up numerous and well resourced organizations who are especially equipped to help individuals - men and women - who have experienced sexual harrasment/violence. They have established links with law enforcement agencies and health organizations who can continue with support and guidance. 

The risk with social media is that it cannot be vetted. Accusations posted on social media cannot hope to be tested throughly, nor can support for victims hope to be anything close to adequate.

And what if an accuser gets it wrong? What if the agenda of an accuser is less than honorable? What if the accused is triggered by such allegations and decides to act - violently?

I posed these questions in an extensive Twitter exchange with several people yesterday, as the result of my questioning the wisdom of publicly outing someone accused of committing acts of sexual harrassment/violence. 

I was attacked, ridiculed and received both death and rape threats. All because I dared to question the calling out of someone's behaviour publicly. 

Social media has given people all over the world a platform to express themselves in all kinds of ways. This is both good and bad.  

I believe the trend of publicly outing individuals is dangerous and it *will* lead to an instance of someone - who is completely innocent - having their life destroyed as a result. 

What do you think? Am I wrong?